The Architect

Patterns people keep living

By , qualified therapist, author and philosophical mythologist. Updated .

Five themes that run through the questions people bring here. Each one gathers the plain-language pages, short answers and podcast episodes on that theme.

Therapy, Self-Help and Why Change Stalls

Questions people ask when therapy, coaching or self-help has helped less than they hoped, or has stopped helping. Michael Lauria has practised as a therapist for twenty years, and these pages draw on that work. (30 pages)

People-Pleasing: Why You Can't Say No

Saying yes when you mean no usually started as a sensible way to stay safe or stay loved. These pages look at where the habit comes from and what it costs you now. (43 pages)

Why Do I Need to Be Needed?

Some people only feel steady when someone depends on them. If you are always the capable one, the helper or the strong one, these pages look at what that role gives you and what it quietly takes. (89 pages)

The Patterns You Bring to Relationships

The patterns people bring into love tend to be older than the relationship. These pages look at why the same dynamics return with different people, and what sits underneath them. (126 pages)

Why Do I Keep Repeating the Same Patterns?

Most people who search this have already noticed the loop: a different job or a different partner, and somehow the same ending. The pages below look at what keeps a pattern running and what it may have been protecting you from. (143 pages)

Everything else

All plain-language questions · Short answers · Every podcast episode · The core ideas

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